This version of Spider-Man is a completely useless toolbox who makes everything worse.
It would have been better if maybe he dealt with something that wasn’t 100% caused by him being an idiot?
Peter whines all the time.
None of his supporting cast is interesting. And now he wastes the time of more interesting characters (Doctor Strange, the Spider-Man villains, the Spider-Men, etc.).
Spider-Man’s main role is being inadequate not just in terms of being a superhero but dealing with life.
There is a lot of incompetent clownery in this movie. Have we hit rock bottom yet? For example, Peter asks Doctor Strange to come up with a spell to make people forget that he’s Spider-Man instead of dealing with that shit like a man. Peter turns on Doctor Strange’s plan to bring back all the villains back to their home worlds because they would die despite the fact that he was okay with letting Mysterio die. The Peter Tingle comes back in this film, although it is mentioned less.
This film continues the previous two’s theme of “Peter is still a complete joke at being a superhero, and if he was hit with a meteorite the MCU would be better for it.” I’ve never seen a movie committed to its theme as this one.
It takes the setup of the post credits scene from Far From Home where Mysterio reveals Spider-Man’s secret identity to the world and completely wastes it. They take the lamest possible execution of the consequences.
There are some bright spots in this movie. Tobey Maguire and Andrew Garfield are more engaging than Tom Holland as Spider-Man. The villains, as characters, are more engaging as well.
The attempts to “cure” the villains ring untrue. Tom Holland’s Spider-Man had no qualms about letting Mysterio die. Also it comes off as bullshit. Having the MCU be the universe that has the means to cure them while their home universes do not comes off as a deus ex machina. It would be more interesting if they remained uncured.
The editing sucks. Some moments of wasted time include the beginning after Spider-Man sees J. Jonah Jameson reveals his secret identity, Aunt May’s side romance with Happy, the scene with Wong, the fight between Doctor Strange and Spider-Man and the conversation that Peter has with Aunt May before the Doctor Strange fight.
Peter Parker is a raging storm of stupidity that infects everyone around him. Other victims include Doctor Strange, his classmates and teachers, Aunt May, and whoever signed off on this movie.
The plot hinges on Peter deciding that he wants the world to forget that he’s Spider-Man instead of dealing with the consequences of that shit like a man. Everything that happens because of that (the botched spell, the villains coming back, the Spider-Men coming in, etc.) basically means that the movie has no stakes or tension in it because everything depends on Peter being an idiot. In other words, this is an idiot plot.
Spider-Man: No Way Home is the worst MCU movie ever made, the worst Spider-Man movie ever made, and the worst superhero movie I have ever seen. It might be the worst movie I’ve ever seen, next to Rebuild of Evangelion (the first two; I haven’t seen the last two) and Beautiful Creatures.
“You saw it in the comics; he constantly talks.” said Kevin Feige in an interview with Deadline. “In Civil War he goes up against Falcon and at one point Falcon says, ‘I don’t know if you’ve been in a fight before, but there’s usually not this much talking.’ That’s Spider-Man to us.” I understand the sentiment, but Spider-Man is constantly unffunny in Civil War. “He was young, that hew was relateable, he was me, he was vulnerable. And he was insecure in a way that fed the humor. He was a kid,” said Joseph Russo in a Deadline interview. I understand the sentiment that they were trying to do with Spider-Man in Civil War, but he was.
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